A major change

I'm back! So yes there's a major change in my blog layout haha yup no more rache-ll, no more tired of drama, no more hot pink + black! Many time I wished I still have the habit the blog every now and then haha but I guess it's gone now.

So yup..these few days had been quite a really intense period for me. Last friday I finally got my results for Chinese Os and i was totally disappointed to know that i got a B3. I thought I could at least gotten an A2. At that point of time when i first knew my grade I totally did not know what to do, I could not even explain how i was feeling. Still in the state of shock, I guess. All I saw was classmates crying over their grades. Some could have gotten and A2, but they didn't. Some could have scored better for oral, but they didn't. I did not cry, neither did I had the tendency to do so. I went around consoling people who were crying. It hurts to see them crying, it makes me feel like crying. I thought to myself, so what if I've gotten a B3 and have to resit? So what if I've let myself down? So what if I complain and blame how i could have done better? Are these going to help? That was what I went around telling people. I remained positive and told people let's just retake together, treat this like it's Prelim 2. I was smiling and acting like it hasn't affected me a bit because hoped my positivity can make them feel better, after all we all did badly.

The fact is, I wasn't as positive as how I really felt. How did I feel? Unfair, shock, intimidated, upset, useless, worthless. I could not find any suitable word to describe this feeling. Yes, but I knew there wasn't any use to cry over spilled milk. It's just very tiring to resit for a paper you wish for it to end so much.

Prelim 2 starts tomorrow. Reminded me of how near Os are. Fifty-six days. Fifty six days.


On a lighter note, JJ Lin is coming to SG for an autograph session on 6 Sep! What a perfect timing because my prelims end on 5 sep! I'm so bloody excited! grhhh! XD